Dick Yarbrough: Recent high-profile events are proof you can’t fix stupid

Published 9:15 am Wednesday, June 21, 2017

So, what possessed comedian Kathy Griffin to post a picture of herself holding the decapitated and bloody head of the President of the United States?
And why did Reality Winner, who carried a top-secret security clearance and leaked top-secret material, go off the deep end and state that she wanted to burn down the White House and tweeted to the foreign minister of the Islamic Republic of Iran that if war comes, “We stand with you”?
And what was Gwinnett County Commissioner Tommy Hunter’s strategy in calling Congressman John Lewis, D-Atlanta, a “racist pig” on his Facebook page? What has that got to do with the governance of the state’s second largest county?
I mean, I am all for freedom of expression and such but as The Woman Who Shares My Name likes to say, “Remember that whatever decisions you make, there are consequences. Good decisions likely result in good consequences. Bad decisions can mean bad consequences.” I like that. She also says I should eat my broccoli because it is good for me. I don’t like that.
Did these three ever think there just might be some bad consequences as a result of their decisions? A beheaded president? Blithely leaking top secret documents? Hurling racial epithets? Were they even thinking?
As I was beginning my descent into the labyrinth of human understanding, looking for a rational explanation to such irrational behavior, I suddenly recalled some wise words from my friend, Bill Stewart, the sage of the Golden Isles and a certified Great American. Stewart says simply, “You can’t fix stupid.” Leave it to Bill Stewart to boil it down to the basics. These are stupid people.
As a result of their stupidity, all of the above have their fannies in a crack. CNN canceled Griffin’s contract. A number of venues have canceled her shows. Winner is now sitting in jail with no bail while federal agents look to see what other kinds of treasonous mischief she had made for herself. Hunter is trying to survive a firestorm of protests, a public reprimand by the county ethics board and the likelihood he will be re-elected to office when the sun rises in the west.
As if stupidity can’t be compounded like interest on a bad loan, Griffin, who had said in her comedy routines that she would also “go after” Donald Trump’s 11-year-old son, Barron, now believes none of this would have happened had she been a “white guy.” Contrast that with Winner who confided to her mom that if she goes on trial, she plans to be “pretty, white and cute.” And white guy Hunter? He probably wishes he was a tree stump. All three are living proof that stupidity knows no race or gender. Stupid is stupid.
Both Griffin and Hunter have issued apologies — sort of — but as of this date, Winner has not. Evidently, she is too preoccupied at the moment with being pretty, white and cute. One thing at a time.
A word about apologies. Most are feeble attempts to deal with backlash. Many start with “If I offended anyone,” which is, well, stupid. Of course, you offended someone. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be offering an apology. And it is human nature to remember less the apology than what caused it in the first place.
Of course, there are those who will try and make martyrs out of people infected with a serious case of The Stupids. Comedian Jim Carrey, who quit being funny about 20 movies ago, defended Griffin’s bad tastes, intoning “Comedians are the last voice of truth.” Really? I thought that was the job of modest and much-beloved columnists. I must get out more.
Rosie O’Donnell, who quit being funny before Jim Carrey ever made a movie, calls loser Winner, a “brave, young patriot.” Oh, please. O’Donnell couldn’t tell a brave, young patriot from a bullfrog. She is too busy being mad at everything and everybody. She probably doesn’t even like grits.
As for Gwinnett Commissioner Tommy Hunter, he must feel like the Maytag Repairman. Very lonely. Gratuitously calling John Lewis a “racist pig” on his Facebook page was over the top and not a lot of people seem willing to publicly defend him. Even the Three Little Pigs have thrown this guy to the wolves.
All three should have listened to the Woman Who Shares My Name before they made their bad decisions. Alas, I suspect it would have been to no avail. As Bill Stewart says, “You just can’t fix stupid.”

You can reach Dick Yarbrough at yarb2400@bellsouth.net; at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139; online at dickyarbrough.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dickyarb.